There are so many things I have learned during my fourteen years of marriage and maybe I can take some time to list here, but one of the first things I learned during a very trying time was how we live in Relationship Zones.
I remember thinking yep, right now we are between conflict and disengaged and moving further out. This chart opened my eyes and a friend took some time to explain how relationships are like bank accounts, you are either making deposits or withdrawals – and eventually you will reap the rewards of a surplus or feel the pain of an overdrawn & negative account.
Right now I can honestly say we are right in the middle of the Intimacy zone, it’s not always been this way but we have both worked towards the goal of doing whatever it took to keep our marriage alive. The main thing we did was to make time for each other. We started focusing on each others positives. We also committed to getting back to church regularly and focused on our priorities – God, each other, kids then everything else. Sounds easy but as you know, it’s not. But it’s worth it. It’s worth not being like our parents: living disengaged, disconnected and disinterested or worse. The tough part about trying to live in intimacy is you have to work through conflict, if you simply sweep it under the rug you will drift. Guaranteed.
So where are you? Are you willing do the work it takes for real intimacy? Or will you just drift.
Recommended Books
Five Love Languages
His Needs Her Needs
Love & Respect
Download Chart:
Download Relationship Zone PDF
Lund 